Thursday, February 23, 2017

Build Hope.

I go back to the whole dancing part because it represents my culture and all that, and being Hispanic is a huge deal to me but recently with what is going on it's become nerve wrecking to take pride in who I am. We've recently have made Trump our president and it hasn't hit me completely till recently how scary it truly is. Last week my family and I were driving past 29th and right by the highway they had so many cop cars pulling people over and asking for ID's or papers. It was an interrogation to my people and it's sad that America has come to this.

My father got here at 15 years old and brought his family over with him and hearing him say that even though we are in danger we should give him a chance to see what good he can truly bring, but I know deep down he is scared as hell to lose what he has worked so hard for us to have. I being a citizen feel like I am seen as a criminal when I get asked questions about my residency or if I am even from here and it shouldn't have to be like that. 

So I am sticking to what my dad said and agree to see what good Trump can bring (even if I don't have a choice) I want people to realize we are not the enemy we are human beings. 

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Dance Off.

Dancing has always been such a huge part of my life. I use to dance for applause studios when I was around 5 but I fell in love with a different type of dance called  folklorico. 

It has been tradition for every member in our family to dance this. It is majestic,colorful,beautiful with the different meanings behind each dance and as well as the passion it comes with. It is such a cultural influence by what you learn through folklorico. It gives you a piece of every different part of Mexico.

My parents actually met through dance when they started a group with my uncle named Norahua and since then my siblings and I followed along side with them. I've danced with Norahua for about 9 years and I learned so much of the importance of culture. 

I no longer dance for my uncle's group but for a new group named Xochipilli. I stopped dancing with Norahua because of the problems with family and how things were taken personal inside and outside the group and my love for dancing was being taken away, so I set myself apart from the drama and decided to quit.

Now that I am back to doing what I love after 4 years it feels great showing my pride in being hispanic and proud through entertainment and passion. 

Xochipilli dance group

sister,mom, and I

Dad helping during dance parade

Thursday, February 16, 2017

Death Plague.

Sorry I haven't been on in a few days, literally felt like I was dying only because I've recently been hit with the flu. You would think being an adult and sick all you'd have to do is shrug it off nope, not the solution. I've actually been at my parents house. Yup, the one place I wanted to move out of I come right back to. It just feels right almost safe, especially when my mom takes care of me like a baby. My dad has been super sweet to me too, I think it makes him feel like he's in charge of my life again. Not that I don't mind it because I don't but I don't want him getting any ideas that I can't take care of myself because I can. Just sometimes when trying to adult we need our parents and right now I need them the most.

Thursday, February 9, 2017

Help Please.

School, school,and more school. I don't mind it at all honestly but multitasking has been difficult. Actually in all honesty I'm pretty proud of myself for even going to school.It's like showing my parents I can live on my own and still care about my career. My dad never got the opportunity to go to college,so he assumes its not as hard as I say it is. That's the problem with everything and my number one pet peeve. How can someone have an opinion on something they don't know about. I'm not saying its a bad thing but it does get annoying.

I just which sometimes we got a break. Starting to regret those kindergarten naps I was so against, but at the end of the day I know I need to continue to push for my degree which is communications to prove not only to my parents especially my dad but to myself that I can do it. In all fairness I appreciate my parents for pushing me to go to school, if you have the opportunity to go to college TAKE IT, you won't regret it.

Take the chance.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Time to Adult.

I didn't realize how annoying trying to be an adult was going to be. It's like you have to remind yourself to clean,pay bills, wash the dishes all on your own. I was so use to my parents reminding me to do all that,it started to become a routine for me. 

The worse problem we had was groceries. Literally it was so annoying trying to not go overboard especially since my bank account didn't allow it. I would even go to my parents house to see what my mom would be kind enough to donate to our "Broke College Student Fund". It was nice and all until my dad started the whole lecture again about why I even moved out. I didn't understand him, he was the one that said go for it while my mom was against it completely. I didn't know how to respond to him without being a smart ass because being Hispanic with a super traditional dad was like asking for a death sentence. 

Everyday still feels like a challenge. I'm always stressed if our bills are going to be on time,if rent is paid, making decisions on whether having air conditioning is even worth it and if we really need food to survive. Trying to adult literally sucks. 



Thursday, February 2, 2017

Boyfriend with Boobs.

I  moved out on March 13,2016. It was the most grown up thing I've ever done. Not going to lie I cried my ass off the first few nights, just because I wasn't use to not having my family tell me goodnight every night before bed. I didn't tell them I was crying or they would have lectured me on how they "told me so"  I didn't want to deal with that.

It wasn't like I moved out with a complete stranger, I did it with my best friend slash fake boyfriend slash sister Sophie.

I've been knowing Sophie for years now. I met her at church one day and basically without putting her out there, I was a nosey little shit and asked her why she was wearing a turtle neck (you should get the hint from there) turned out we just knew the same guy LOL. So forth she had no choice but to be my best friend for the rest of her life.

Sophie is very different from my other friends, she is basically me but skinny and taller. She is outgoing, smart, loves to dance and is pretty damn good at it, beautiful, funny, kind and basically I'm very lucky to have her in my life.

She made the transition easy for me. Gave me the pros and cons of moving out and all that. The pro is the freedom we had and the con was the damn rent. It was all new to me but it was and still worth it with her.

Oh no..The Parents.

I feel like I went a little off track for a second. It's hard trying to explain every detail of my life without getting mixed up. The reason I bring up my family is because they are part of me becoming a woman. 

My mom plays a huge role in who I am. I'm way closer to her than I am my dad, just because half the things I tell her he would probably beat my ass for. She is open-minded just like me. She understands that things aren't how they use to be and temptation is going to be a part of growing up. She is literally my rock and I'll probably bring her up a lot since I've never hidden anything from her, literally she knows everything. 

Dad, oh sweet sweet dad. Its like the arguing I had with my mom switched to him. What happen to being the nice guy? Not that he's a bad guy he isn't at all, he is hardworking,loving,and a great father which I love dearly,but mannnnnn he kills me sometimes. He's so damn traditional and stuck in his Mexico ways,not to mention he thinks there is certain things girls can't do that guys can. Him and I bump heads so much just because he thinks I rebel against his rules , which honestly I do only to get my point across. I'm not a bitch or anything but it's like I have to break his rules to get him to understand,but that doesn't work. Which lead me to moving out.

Three is better than One.

Finally after getting my whole love life out of the way, not that I haven't had someone new in my life I'll just get to them later on. 

I didn't realize how much I started to change after those years. I started to get into more and more problems with friends and family. My mom and I would always argue non stop, it was starting to become a daily routine,while my dad basically wouldn't tell me anything since he didn't like the idea of him being "the mean dad". They were so strict on me especially since I was the oldest. Yes, I'm the oldest of 3. I have a younger brother and younger sister. My brother Jovanny is the middle child and my sister Valeria is the baby. You wouldn't believe we were siblings at all,literally it looks like my mom had us from different dads.

Jovanny is the all time favorite child of my dad (yes parents have their favorite) He is the good boy,doesn't drink,is amazing at soccer, and basically is the only one that will become famous out of the three. He is recently attending York in Nebraska for soccer. I'm telling you FAVORITE CHILD.

Valeria is the baby. She is beautiful,tall,skinny,mean as hell,smart,and mean if I didn't mention that. I feel like she is so damn mature, that I'm the baby and she's the oldest. The way she carries herself is amazing. Doesn't take bullshit from anybody,makes It kind of hard to make friends with her but thats okay she's my best friend. Did I mention she wants to be doctor? Yep. Amazing. 

We are so different from one another, but being separated feels like hell.

 Three is always better than one.